applesauce and cheese
1:01 Fomnif quinwee sandwiches weebles uf
in the beginning there was only Fomnif and this was good
and the moon was made of barbecue spare ribs and every thing was good.
1:02 Fomnif said let there be quenstorvin and was much happiness in its mouth.
1:03 Fomnif created man and man was lonely. Fomnif could tell cause mans hand was always tired and his penis was sore.
1:04 so Fomnif used mans Third nipple to make women and man was very happy.
1:05 Women tell man to take down trash man says no she says why not and man replys with "cause your face is ugly"
and thus comedy is born.
1:06 The sun was made of tomato soup thus the stars were made of quinwee.
1:07 Then women eat corned beef and get them kick out of there house cause corned-beef was forbidden.
1:08 Man and women have kids named fart and ass and a girl named face face face.
1:09 erkumja kumja kum erkumla hum boo moo sho loo.
1:10 then Fomnif created three gods ,David bowie,Robert plant and Bryan Danielson.
1:11 he did this too show his power over his minions ummm....Ur I mean fallowers
1:12 Fomnif had a goddess that liked fluff and beans and she ate them to regain her power of Fomnif.
1:13 It wasn't long that Fomnif turned itself into a food so he could be apart of every one and thus it became strudel.
1:14 every time his people would gather they would break Fomnif to be apart of the entity that is Fomnif, so then they too would become Fomnif.
1:15 Fomnif created a big city and in this city was a masturbating dragon named Dave.
1:16 Dave masturbated all the time , the town didn't like this at all.
1:17 then out of fomnif's left butt cheek came a dragon slayer, he was named Agle Bagle, and he said that he would beat the dragon at his own game by out masturbating him.
1:18 Agle Bagle then went to the dragon and said that if he defeats the dragon, the dragon would have to leave. the dragon excepted.
1:19 they masturbated for two years until the dragon died of loss of penis.
1:20 Agle Bagle won, but was then cursed with no sex cause every time he touched or someone else touched his penis it would hurt
1:21 Fomnif said that masturbating would be a sin and no masturbating signs were every ware in the big city.
1:22 now the only trouble there was is the city was sticky from the masturbating took place plus they had a dead dragon on there hands with a huge erect penis, lots of people died from the penis and got stuck in the sperm from the dragon and thus they went hungry.
1:23 And so the great and powerful Fomnif came down, and with flick of his wrist turned all of the sperm, and the dragon into frosting.
1:24 And the great frosting lick began. The followers in the city proceeded to lick off the frosting on the ground and the city but kept the penis and gave it to Agle bagle. A reward for defeating him with his penis masturbation Fomnif weeble akkgee.
quinwee fluff fluff fluff........
2:01 the age of rubs came and everyone now was a follower of Fomnif they stretched out all over the united Fomnif areas
everyone ate applesauce and cheese for lunch and for dinner strudel yes there was a great time in the big city and the united Fomnif areas.
2:02 but there was one who thought of Fomnif to be silly and crotch tasting. his name was danish or in Gymeboke Finmof.
2:03 Finmof was all that was evil but Fomnif was easy going so he shruged it shoulders and said meh!
2:04 Finmof called upon the the mighty power of his anus and said the words caba laba daba. and summoned the great Dave the masturbating dragon
from the dead. and gave him the title of Stan meaning his right hand man. Finmof then banned all Fomnif from the land, in which was every time there was strudel it would wither and die in his presence.
2:04 Finmof then used his powers to wither all the penises in the land to the average of 5 inches. before that there average penis was 12 feet.
2:05 people say that this was a good thing that Finmof did but he knew the males would react in a manner that would be crotch tasting to him.
2:06 they rebelled to Finmof and punched every new born baby in the face cause new born babies were evil back then and threw fire balls out of there anuses.
2:07old spice old spice old spice bananas pfft! then crap fell from the sky a that was acid like fire ball ice water chocolate.
2:08 thus came Finmof the crotch tasting danish and it said let the qwee flebs out and don't touch my penis and so he did.
Alfie 3:01 Dave The masturbating Dragon Wanted revenge and decided that he would sneak into Agle Bagle's home and kill him. Bye suffocating him with his penis since his penis was 80 feet long and 60 tons. 3:02 And thus a the great battle begun. Dave The masturbating Dragon tried to suffocate Agle Bagle. No! said Agle Bagle and Spoke his poem. Oh, Savor the gentle gliding of the antelope fists, Smack the warriors tooth in the fortress of a soul emptied, Foretell what the fortress hath forsook, In virility thus. then died from loss of penis
Edit Johnny Depp has been removed from the fomnif bible because he destroyed Dark Shadows! Mr Depp you can "go fuck your self" Thank you and good night!